The Problem with Praise with Aki Raymer
Of course we are excited as our children reach new milestones and accomplish new things, but what do you say to celebrate? How many times have the words "good job" come out of your mouth? Is that actually acknowledging what your child did, or do we just feel compelled to comment and that's the easiest thing to do?
Aki Raymer and I discuss why we "good job" our kids, and why we should reconsider this common phrase. Check out the episode for more positive parenting philosophy, the downsides of praise, and what to say instead. Enjoy!
Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode
- Find Aki at ParentingPaths.com
- Are You Disrespecting Your Kids with Praise? on Parenting Paths
- The Positive Parenting (R)evolution FB Group
- Five Reasons to Stop Saying 'Good Job' by Alfie Kohn
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Thank you so much for this podcast episode. I really enjoyed the deep dive into our culture of praise. One question I have is about the use of the phrase “thank you for …” While I have almost entirely eradicated the phrase good job for my vocabulary with my 19 month old son, I often say things like “thank you for helping me put those toys away“ Or “ thanks for wiping up that mess you made!“ is this just another replacement for saying “good job”? Or would you say it’s ok in moderation because I use it when I appreciate something he’s done and I’m showing appreciation? There is still some value judgement being placed on the task he did… So Confusing! Thank you for your help.